Sunday, November 7, 2010

*WHERE HAVE I BEEN*

Where have I been? I truly feel sad that I have let time go by without taking the time to write, my hobby, something that I truly enjoy and it is a great therapy for my mind and my inner self.

So many things has happened since I last wrote that I don't even know where to start, but I will write just what I feel in my heart now and let it flow....

It is amazing how we yes we get so involved with the world with life that we really forget *us*.. it is sad that time goes by so fast by being so involved in so many things that we forget ourselves... and that is *me*.

As I opened my Blog tonight and read what I have written so long ago and it makes me so sad that I didn't continue. At the time I had my reasons and it was so silly to let others influence me to stop. Why did I listen? Why do we let opinions from others change our minds of our goals and things that we want to accomplish for our own happiness. I have learned just not to long ago that it is time to start thinking about me, not in a selfish way but in a happy way... it is time to make me happy, to do the things that make me happy.

It seems that all my life I have given myself to others and I do not regret not a one that I have been there for.. but now I feel that I need to help myself so I can continue to help others.

All my life I have kept my life *my story* to myself only and never liked to share with anyone my feelings.. my fears... my joys... always in silence, but I think it is not a healthy thing to do, I think that for everything there is a time and I feel that my time to share has come.

In this past year I have lived so many things that has opened my eyes and has hurt my heart and soul of what reality is... not a good thing but I do have to get out of my cocoon and face it, this is the world and what I am learning or experiencing is what life is all about and it is time to learn to accept real life.

Life has not been easy for me ever since I was born and I kept it all to myself because it was better that way, it wouldn't hurt as much, and I don't like to have negative feeling in me for anyone. I truly believe that there is a God who will handle everything that has harmed me and I let Him, I just want to continue to live in peace and keep growing spiritually, but now with my eyes wide open and ready learn more of what this real world is all about. Pretty scary but ready to face it and continue to learn even if it hurts.

I love myself and I truly want to learn more so I can help others. To help others is what truly makes me happy ... !

I also feel and truly know that what ever I have lived, it all has a purpose and because of many experiences I have lived I have been able to help many and I feel what a blessing, I don't regret anything of what I have been through, much has been my own choices and others not but have been able to get up and continue my journey. It is good to be back!.....