*Having to GROW UP*

I remember when I was a very young girl I use to watch my Mama put her make up on and I would tell myself... oh how I wish I could do that? I would ask her can I try it? I want to look as pretty as you! .. And she would say... *to young yet* when you grow up you will have the chance to try it... I would just watch her and wish
Oh *when I grow up*
As the years went by my brother would be invited to parties and my older sister would be invited to dances and I would ask Mama can I go?
And she would say... no hijita (little daughter)
When you grow up you will have that chance.... Oh how I wished I was old enough to go dancing!
There were many times I would get the same answer...
*When you grow up!*
Then came the time to get my bags ready to fly away... to leave the country and go to school to the United States... Then I thought.. No! I don’t really want to go.. All my friends are here... my home... my Mama...
But the answer was this is the best for you... better opportunities.. better schools and better place to *GROW UP*. Then I thought I don’t want to grow up... I want to stay home and stay little... but that was not my choice and there I went. Left my Mama behind and went with my brother to a new country.. new language... new everything!
And then I had to *GROW UP!*
There were many circumstances in my life as I was growing up that I had to grow up and did not know how... I will say I was blessed with a very wonderful teacher whom I adore.. and still stay in contact with her and thank her for helping me through tough times... who helped me believe in myself... and a very good friend whom I still have, and I will call her my older sister... my best friend and someone who believed in me... and has always been there for me. Oh how blessed I was and still am to have them in my life.
Having to grow up at the age of 13 was not a bit easy, had to learn to choose for myself and now I could do whatever I wanted. I didn’t have my Mama to tell me *no or yes* so this is when I really had to grow up. At first I would try to blame everyone for my unhappy life and for having to move to a new country... yes even a country that spoke a language I didn’t like and while I lived in my country every summer I had to take summer school because I disliked the English language so much! Now I didn’t have anymore excuses of *I will never have to speak English!*... oh was I wrong..... I would never have to use it? Was I so wrong! And now I wish I would of paid more attention!
Life at first here in the USA was not a bit easy and it took me 3 years to finally realize that *I had to grow up* or I will have a miserable life the rest of my life.
Many times as I was growing up I could recall so clear when I watched my Mama put her make-up on and I would ask her, can I do that? *No* she would say... when you *GROW UP*...
If I would of known what took to be able to put that make up on!
I have learned through my growing years that to begin *Growing up* I must love myself first, and trust my inner spirit... to listen, to watch, and to learn the good of others.
I have learned so much from my good a bad choices, I have fallen many times but because of my love and trust to myself I have learned to get on my feet again and keep on going, yes keep on going with my head up and with a smile to reassure myself that I can do it.
Through all my mistakes I have grown up in a very fast pace which I wish it could of been different but it happened and it is the past and I did grow up from those experiences.
Many of us at our age we say *we are grown ups* but that does not mean we stop growing.. we never should stop growing because that is the way of learning.
Through all the experiences we go through life we grow and we can also contribute to help others. Many times I have said if they could just listen and do what I am telling them so they won’t get hurt! But that is not how life works... we must share what we know but we must make our own choices and from them we all learn and that is what we call *Growing up*
Through all the experiences I have gone through I could say I finally have grown up... but really there is no age or time when we stop *GROWING UP*... so this is good! We will stay young forever!
And if we do we will enjoy life till the end.
So I am still *Growing Up* but the only change now is that
I can put make-up on! and what a privilege!!