**IF I COULD ONLY…**

How many times through my life have I said this phrase…
*If I could ONLY*
I know I am not the only one that has done this many times, and at my age I have come to accept that I must let go .....
*If I could ONLY*.
As I look back into my life and start looking at it as if I have put a Video on and start with chapter one what I can recall of my memories,
I start pondering and wish ....
*If I could ONLY*.
I can recall things from when I was 2 almost 3 years old and to many it may be amazing but there are many reasons why I can recall those days.
I wish many times as I look back of how many times have I talked to God and ask Him
*If I could ONLY*...
I truly believe that before we came to this state to earth we were with HIM and He presented a plan for our lives and somehow I accepted to what I might have to go through while my stay here and it all depended on what I chose for me while I am here. I will say I am grateful that we do have our Free Agency to choose and I have come with the conclusion that many choices where wrong... many because of me and many because of the circumstances I lived in and there were many choices I had to do because there were no way out of them...
and I repeated to myself so many times ....
*If I could ONLY*
What it is stuck on my mind of my youth is recalling saying to myself
*If I could ONLY*
After the age of 17 I just decided to not look back anymore and just be happy and not waste my time wondering
*If I could ONLY*
It has been good... I decided that whatever I do with my life it is me who did it, it is me who made those decisions of now and whatever the consequences are they are mine... only I deserve the happiness and sadness. I decided that there is no one in the world that could make *ME* happy... that the only person that could do that is myself.
I also learned not to expect anything, that whatever comes or whatever I get is what I deserve and I do accept it with no regrets.
I have fallen many times... many times and thanks to someone that said to me *when you fall... get up! Clean those knees and keep on going*
Those falls are for your good and from them you will learn... very wise advise and it has help me so much!
So now... when the
*If I could ONLY*
wants to crepe over and take over I just say to myself *NO*...
Whatever happened .. It did and it is past....
Now is the time to live and truly enjoy life and
tomorrow will come and then I will live what is for tomorrow.
Life is to short!
I feel that by truly giving *LOVE* to anyone that crosses my way it is a JOY it is a healing process and when you *LOVE* and
not let the human in you take over, life is great and I am truly happy.
So now my saying is:
*If I could ONLY... *LOVE MORE..*
I truly know that if I can keep practicing this precious gift of Love I will be happy forever no matter what,
and I WILL!